"No amount of fire or freshness
can challenge what a man will
store up in his ghostly heart."
::The Great Gatsby::
Friday, October 5, 2012
some nights, you leave the dishes in the sink.
I have exactly two roommates and goodness, do I love those sweet girls.
They're friends {more like family} of mine from college and we are all different, the "night and day" kind of different, but alike in that we love Jesus, theology, and coffee mugs...and really, that's close to all that matters.
Still, as well as they know me, I'm kind of embarrassed by the thought of them seeing my clothes thrown across the floor or my dirty dishes in the sink...so I do my best to make sure that clothes are folded and the left-overs done away with before they lay their eyes on it.
I can tell you and myself it's out of respect for them, the fact that this is their space too. And it is, for the most part.
But honestly? A good part of it is because I don't want them to think I'm a mess of a girl (even though friends already know these kinds of things).
This might not seem like a big deal or even warrant a second thought. Who cares if your friends see a dirty sock now and then? Really now.
But recently, I realized that as much as I am keeping things tidy for their sake...it's still about me.
I make sure they think well of their roommate and friend. I make sure they know I'm not a slob.
Because there's that lingering fear that maybe, if I don't have it all together, they may think less of me.
I can live my life this way for an increasingly unsatisfied, faceless audience as well. and I have.
People-pleasing ways leave a lot of room for sweat and worry, and not much room for the Gospel. It's no life at all and it is sure not freedom.
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." -2 Corinthians 3:17
Those who have the Holy Spirit are a free people. God is well-pleased with His people. So why is it so easy to still live as a slave shackled to pleasing others?
Because it's an ugly-faced idol masked as a mere subtlety. We call it simply our "personality" and can keep it to ourselves and dress it up real pretty as a favor or a cause or even a matter of good house-keeping. That's a dangerous thing. And no matter how many times you tie a bow around the deeds you do, there's always another to be done. Nobody wins at this. Not ever.
I've tried, and all I've found is inadequacy, a whole lot of wasted time, and still another item for the to-do list. That list never ends, by the way.
These people and their praise; It's a bit addicting, erected over too many of my thoughts and actions and that ambiguous place between the two. And you can bet that it's taking awhile and won't be knocked down from its lofty pedestal easily.
But oh, is it coming down.
to my sweet friends & roommates: yes, sometimes those are mine in the sink. yes, I know you love me anyway.
They're friends {more like family} of mine from college and we are all different, the "night and day" kind of different, but alike in that we love Jesus, theology, and coffee mugs...and really, that's close to all that matters.
Still, as well as they know me, I'm kind of embarrassed by the thought of them seeing my clothes thrown across the floor or my dirty dishes in the sink...so I do my best to make sure that clothes are folded and the left-overs done away with before they lay their eyes on it.
I can tell you and myself it's out of respect for them, the fact that this is their space too. And it is, for the most part.
But honestly? A good part of it is because I don't want them to think I'm a mess of a girl (even though friends already know these kinds of things).
This might not seem like a big deal or even warrant a second thought. Who cares if your friends see a dirty sock now and then? Really now.
But recently, I realized that as much as I am keeping things tidy for their sake...it's still about me.
I make sure they think well of their roommate and friend. I make sure they know I'm not a slob.
Because there's that lingering fear that maybe, if I don't have it all together, they may think less of me.
I can live my life this way for an increasingly unsatisfied, faceless audience as well. and I have.
People-pleasing ways leave a lot of room for sweat and worry, and not much room for the Gospel. It's no life at all and it is sure not freedom.
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." -2 Corinthians 3:17
Those who have the Holy Spirit are a free people. God is well-pleased with His people. So why is it so easy to still live as a slave shackled to pleasing others?
Because it's an ugly-faced idol masked as a mere subtlety. We call it simply our "personality" and can keep it to ourselves and dress it up real pretty as a favor or a cause or even a matter of good house-keeping. That's a dangerous thing. And no matter how many times you tie a bow around the deeds you do, there's always another to be done. Nobody wins at this. Not ever.
I've tried, and all I've found is inadequacy, a whole lot of wasted time, and still another item for the to-do list. That list never ends, by the way.
These people and their praise; It's a bit addicting, erected over too many of my thoughts and actions and that ambiguous place between the two. And you can bet that it's taking awhile and won't be knocked down from its lofty pedestal easily.
But oh, is it coming down.
to my sweet friends & roommates: yes, sometimes those are mine in the sink. yes, I know you love me anyway.
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