Breakfast.

It's a funny thing, you know.

This measuring and aligning my perceived self to a perceived view of you,
with your lineage of knowledge and wisdom and Truth.

It's like trying to make a shoe fit.

So, I spend quite a bit of time stretching this skin, and this mind, and this personality to make it more of what I hear it should be.
I work to steady my voice, and make myself clear in that witty sort of way, and do try to look pretty while broadening my theological vocabulary.

I've tried to speak a little louder (it's never attractive), and read a little further, and learn more about more relevant topics, always.

Because after all,
everybody wants an intelligent "something" to contribute to intellectual conversation about important or not-so-important this, that, and the other.

It's relative, I guess.

But lack of contribution?
Well, that comes a little too close to having nothing to say at all.

So I speak to hear myself.
And too often to remind you that I really can be taken seriously,
in case you need reminding.
And I'll find out more about more and we can talk about it next time.
Just not during breakfast, please. If you don't mind, never during breakfast.

No, what I've made it out to be isn't all that you are.

But I admit that sometimes I feel the crevices, void of whatever it is that would make me more suitable for your mold,
real or perceived.
and for that one and 1/4 century old history of yours that makes you you
and me, well, quite inspired and disillusioned.

This won't be forever.
Because history we have in common
and Him as well.
I never said I have to stretch all that far to see the greater Good.

But there are times when I still speak to hear myself.
And really, the shoe will never fit just right.
I am who He has made me out to be after all.

I just might call a truce.